April 18, 2008

The Meditation Of The Daily Drive

Throughout the average day of the average person, one can find places where time is set aside. Little breaks from the daily grind that help replenish the sanity and recharge the batteries. Some folks run screaming into their scheduled work breaks, unwilling to do anything that might reduce those precious 15 minutes. I've met others who must go to the bathroom at exactly 1:23 every day and lock themselves into a stall for a solid 10. And I'm not here to judge, it's a necessary thing that keeps good people from buying semi-automatic weapons and unloading on a room full of their dumber peers. 10 minutes out of the day is a worthwhile sacrifice to spare the lives of many.

And there is one of these times that we all share, but doesn't get the credit it deserves. Probably one of the most mentally preserving times that nobody ever stops to think about. The drive to work.

Think about how every morning you throw yourself into bitter cold and harsh sunlight, climb into your loyal transportation, and turn that key. How through yelling at stoplights, and flipping off your peers, you mentally prepare yourself for your work day. Now consider taking it out of your day and simply having to walk 10 feet to work every day. You can already feel yourself burning out at the thought of it can't you? Yup, it's that important.

Meditation is what it is. Even if you don't follow Buddhism or those damned hippies, meditation is still a valid part of your day. You can't honestly tell me you're completely conscious and focused in your drive to work? Of course not, nobody is. It's early for fuck's sake. The mind has just been woken from restful slumber and forced to do something it doesn't want to. Of course it's going to tune out. And you need it to. To make the transition from "I'm a restful creature" to "I'm a slave wage junkie" takes a bit of time, and when better to do it than during the daily drive? It's truly the epitome that sets the course of the day.

The reason I bring this up is because earlier this week, I discovered how fragile a thing the meditation of the daily drive is.

As you can imagine, I am not a morning person. I loathe sunlight and brand new days. My typical habit is to work deep into the hallowed nights, where the death of the day is mine to claim. Mornings just don't do it for me.

But, there are times when one must wake up and face the world. And I had one of those mornings. And naturally, I wasn't too happy about it. Still, I knew instinctively that once I was driving and on my way to my destination, that I'd kind of self-regulate and get back on track. I had done it for years before, and I knew the rhythm would come back to me.

However, there is a flaw in my plan. For you see, I was driving in with Mrs. Boogie.

And I never accounted for the fact that she has her own daily drive meditation thing. Something that also requires a fair bit of solitude before reaching the time clock. So, you've got a small vehicle with two very big personalities in very grouchy states, trying to reach zen. I'm sure you can guess how it all went down.

By the time we were at the halfway point to her work, we were in full fledged combat. Hostile tones and scrunched eyebrows were exploding left and right. Fingerpointing was the name of the game, and neither party could do any right. Mrs. Boogie is a wonderful, vibrant, and utterly optimistic woman. But when she's in a bad mood, her words can scar. She will scan for every little thing that makes you hate yourself, and throw it in your face. Even things that seem utterly ridiculous to most mortals can do major damage in her hands. Things like:

"Oh yeah, well you're nose is too big!"

You bitch.

But I'm no better in this war. My voice gets louder and louder as I stand by my righteous flag. I'm right, and she's a horrible person for doubting it. Yeah, call me what you like woman, you just don't understand! That's what I say, she just doesn't understand. She doesn't have the skill or the experience to put two and two together. I can do it. Of course I can, I'm the fucking Boogie Man! I know the right answer for everything god damnit! And she's a fool for doubting it,which makes it my obligation and my duty to correct her in her stupidity. Which, naturally makes everything worse.

A few minutes later, she gets out of the truck angry, I drive off like a wolverine in heat. 2o minutes later, after the drive to my destination, I'm thinking to myself "What the fuck was that all about?" There was no real reason for us to engage in combat, we just sort of looked at each other and it was on. But now I was calm, completely mellow and back to normal, and I was feeling pretty stupid about what had just happened.

My phone rings. I pick it up and Mrs. Boogie says to me "What the fuck was that all about?" She just had some tea and took a few minutes to herself to get her mind sorted and came to the same conclusion I did. Neither of us were angry at each other. We hadn't said or done anything to win the hostility of the other. There's no reason we should've ever been mad at each other.

Ah but there was. We occupied each other's space for 12 minutes. Space that we usually had alone to think and sort the files. And having that time interrupted by another soul ruins that special meditation we so sorely need. It can drive a person mad. So mad, that two people who've been together for years can actually get to the point of killing each other. It's powerful stuff.

So, the next time you have to force yourself into your car to drive to a job you hate, consider how lucky you are to have these few minutes of traffic and highways. Don't take them for granted, for someday you may find your space intruded on. And god help us all when that happens.

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