Why I Work With Kids

Since the BGO has yet to pay for anything yet, ol' Boogie is still very much reliant on the day job. What seems to trip out most folks, is that when it comes to selecting a 9 to 5er, I usually opt for something that forces me to interact with kids. Those who've known me for a while know that I've put in years in the educational realm. I've dabbled in teaching, content creation, presentation, counseling, tutoring.....I've pretty much done it all baby.

And that fact really messes with people's minds. "Boogie," they will often say, "why would an angry, mentally-unstable, jazz musician like yourself work with kids? Do you have mommy issues or something?"

Nope. I'm not compensating for a lost childhood or any kind of shit like that. And I don't come home at night singing "The Greatest Love Of All" either. I'm not about preaching life lessons, nor do I use the word, "m'kay." I'm a perfectly normal, dark and cynical SOB who just happens to deal with the young folk. And my reasoning for that is simple:

Kids don't pull any punches.

If there is something about your person that is strange, funny, or annoying, a kid will make damn sure you know about it. If you are bothering them, they will not hesitate to tell you, and if your jokes aren't funny, you will be informed as brutally as possible. Kids do the straight truth, and do it well.

And I for one, appreciate that kind of honesty. Considering how often manners and polite ignorance seem to dominate the grown-up world, it's nice to have someone flat out tell you when you're being a douche.

Take for example, a conversation I had with a kid the other day. My current place of employment (which, for the sake of courtesy, shall remain nameless) requires me to wear an apron whilst interacting with the kiddies. A young girl approached me and said,

"You're dumb to wear an apron."

Ooh! Intriguing! But since I'm on the job, I have to forgo asking all the questions I'd like to ask, and instead respond with a P.C. friendly:

"Now, be nice. Lots of men and women wear aprons as part of their jobs, and that doesn't make them dumb."

Her reply? "Yeah, I know. But the apron you're wearing is dumb. Why are you wearing such a dumb apron?"

"Because they make me."

"Well then they're dumb for doing that!" And with that, she skipped away to new adventures.

It was a beautifully honest exchange that I could never have had with an adult. The grown-ups all looked at me in my apron and simply accepted it. No no, not the kids, they called me on that shit.

And god damnit if she wasn't right. It is a dumb fucking apron! And the people who enforce the requirement that I most don this apparel as a condition of my employment are equally dumb.

So, the next time you see me talking with a kid, know that I am getting the real scoop on things. That child is making sure I got full perspective on this plane of existence, and all the faults and fuck-ups I run around with. Those youngsters are keeping me sharp, and god bless them for it.