The Future Of Food In 2009

I was flipping through the reading material I got from a local college tour, when I stumbled across something interesting.

A professional food guy of much notariety was talking about the future of food, the trends that were going to be big in the new year. His Nostradamus-esque predictions?

Leg meat, beef, pork, and lamb. Oh, and duck. Duck's gonna define the '09. Oh, and the big breakthrough? bacon wrapped anything. Anything wrapped in bacon is gonna be big. Big baby, big!

Umm.......I'm no specialist or anything, but isn't that always the case?

Seems to me restaurants and other kooky food peoples have been selling this kind of stuff for years, and will most likely continue to do so long after all of us are gone. I mean duck? Seriously? Seems to me there's an entire landmass just east of us that thrives on the stuff. And wrapping stuff in bacon is hardly new. Hell I know a weirdo who dipped he shit in chocolate, so you're gonna have to do better than that to impress me.

Food is like the other great maddening arts, like music and writing (of which I have some association,) it's not something that can be calculated into trends. It's unpredictable, which is the way it should be. Spontaneous primal creation meant to be savored on the moment, with as little dignity or poise as possible. It's savagery, that's kind of the point. I want to enjoy what I enjoy, when I want to enjoy it. If you told me tomorrow that next month, Salmon was supposed to be all the rage, then you can pretty much guarantee what exactly I won't be eating. I mean, if you wanna play the whole gypsy & crystal ball game, I can whip up some predictions that would make John Edwards shit himself.

Ummm........the universe tells me.........that people will still eat at Burger King and continue to pickle their guts. There, I just blew your mind didn't I?

Good food is good food. People are always gonna eat beef and pork because they taste good. And they'll always eat it made by people who make it taste even better. That's all the forward looking graphs and population patterns you need to know. Now, it's possible that only people like me considering the fields we do, are subject to this information. In which case, I'm really only talking to myself (something I do quite often on this blog.) However, if you've stumbled across any kind of similar statistic or theorizing, here's what I suggest you do:

Go to the most decadent, savory eatery you know. Have your favorite meal, and eat the hell out of it. And while you're sitting back with gristle and pleasure streaked across your face, remember that trends are made by people who have forgotten what eating a meal is all about.

Stuff your faces folks. Keep the professionals guessing.