Where No Raza Has Ever Gone Before

Here's something that's always bothered me about Star Trek...

Yes, I'm a fan of Star Trek. Not a trekkie of course, those people are weird, but a normal average individual who grew up with the show and still finds reasons to appreciate it in his maturing years. It's good entertainment and I make no apologies for it.

But, like I was saying, there is something about the program that bothers me. It's a subtle undercurrent that few would notice, but with keen eyes and a sense of balance it becomes very hard to miss. My problem is this: Where are all the Latinos?

Think back on the show. If time permits, maybe watch an episode or two. You will start to notice that despite a representation of every major cultural entity, as well the weird and crazy space-born types, that the whole of hispanic-dom, Chicanos, Tejanos, Mexicanos, Latinos, and every other variant in between is very much in absence. Sure we've got blue guys and women with breasts in triplicate, but not one person of the Latin persuasion.

And no, I'm not going to count Robert Beltran. Despite being a wonderful person, a proud Latin man, and someone with the ability to shoot off the mouth in a way that only I can appreciate, I can't in good faith count him. Why? Because the smart people in charge decided to take him, and paint him into some weird tattooed new age mystic who had zero ties to Hispanic culture. They didn't want a proud Latin man. They wanted some noble Native American that you'd expect to see on postcards in gas stations. And while Native American roots are definitely part of the Hispanic experience, He obviously wasn't made into someone with those facts in mind. They just wanted a gypsy boy with a medicine bag. Nothing more.

Many years ago in my more rebellious days, I was irked that no Chicano ever got to be captain. I mean hell, everyone else got a ship. Sulu insured the Asians were represented, Picard nailed the European vote. Avery Brooks stood proudly for African Americans, and the very uptight Kate Mulgrew made for the surliest, mother hen of a female representative ever put on the tube. And yet, never a Chicano. Basically, it's us and the Australians who never got their fair shake at helming an intergalactic starship.

And I'm not knocking the captains of days gone by (well except Kate Mulgrew, I can't stand that woman.) Kirk in his heyday could've probably seduced me into the sack. And Picard could be quite the badass. Cultured, but he'd crush your nuts if he had to. So, I'm not going to stand on the podium and say my culture could one-up these fine specimens, but it would've been nice to be invited.

But hey, what do I know? I was an angry kid with lots of venom to flick at a vicious world (I'm so much more mature now.) I simply dismissed it as foolishness. Pure paranoia. But, as I've had more time on my hands, and am actually around a television in the daytime, I watched the program again. As I watched I stood ready to dismiss the lack of Hispanic leadership on these programs as my overactive imagination. But, I never prepared myself for how underrepresented we were to become.

We're not in charge, we're not in the command chain, shit we're not even cleaning out grease traps in some intergalactic kitchen. We are simply not there.

So where exactly did we go? Was there some ethnic cleansing in the Third World War? Was brown declared illegal? Couldn't have been genetics, since any good geneticist would tell you those more people are likely to be Hispanic than any other cultural denomination. We're a culture of mixed bloods and the integration of polarized traditions, we ain't going nowhere.

Well, nowhere except space apparently.

This may sound like defensive nitpicking, but consider the times. This country's government has painted us to be just as dangerous as any terrorist organization. Our sheer presence has become a national threat. There are armed civilians pointing guns at a line in the dirt to kill people who look like me. And for what? Swimming? Trying to work and make a little money? Sure, there are some unruly types in the bunch, but no breed is perfect. The average American citizen is far more dangerous than any immigrant crossing that dusty river, so what the hell? I know at least half a dozen people who are undocumented citizens from places as extreme as London, Canada, and even New Zealand. Meanwhile I'm a born citizen and have been interrogated by Border Patrol officials at least three times that I remember. The present has not been kind, the future showing no improvement on celluloid.

it's scary that this fictionalized utopia doesn't include people like me. Maybe the current political situation can actually carry on to the 24th century with great effectiveness. Through tired eyes, you can almost look at those beautiful CGI images of futuristic San Fransisco, bear witness to clean air and a lack of crime, and know that if you drove south to that aged border line, you will see the Mexico of old still there. Even in this new civilized time, kids still run the streets without shoes. Poor people continue to sell Chicklets and cheap wares to hovercraft-riding tourists. That even in this era of civilized folk, we will remain a source of cheap booze and cheaper amusement amongst the status quo. And instead of angry rednecks, we will have honorable young men with plasma rifles and shiny brooches on their chests, keeping the heartland clear of our kind. We are a sin to this nation even in this new day, crimes stretching deep into the future. We are the galaxy's dirty little secret, a mistake of conquest and drunkenness. Unfit to lead, unfit to bear witness to the hopeful futures that only Hollywood can create. And in the end, a person with the face I see every day in the mirror has nothing to look forward to as we venture forth into the future.

And don't you Star War guys start acting all ultra righteous either. It's not like your representation of my kind has been any more generous.