Rachael Ray, The Terrorist

In shocking news, Food Network celebrity Rachael Ray has been caught performing terrorist actions. Reports indicate that she was overheard speaking in an Islamic dialect to unknown individuals before the taping of a Dunkin' Donuts commercial. When filming of the commercial began, Ray started screaming anti-American rhetoric and threats against our "crooked totalitarian government" before foaming at the mouth and collapsing. As security pulled her away from the scene, a map of terrorist bombing targets was found on her person. Targets on that list included the U.S. Mint, Krispy Kreme's Corporate Headquarters, and any elementary school that teaches Evolution.

Oh wait, my mistake. None of that happened, Rachael Ray was only wearing a scarf.

Yes, a scarf. A simple piece of fabric originally designed to keep the neck warm. This simple piece of fashion has ignited great controversy about Rachel's patriotism and her sympathy for terrorist organizations. This was not a middle eastern scarf mind you. This scarf was not genetically created in an Arabic lab for the purposes of hate crime, nor has it ever been used to wipe the sweat from Osama Bin Laden's brow while he pondered great acts of hate and terror. It only looks like a middle eastern scarf.

I'm sure I could probably drive to my local friendly mall, and find one just like it. And I can whip out the credit card and hand it to a nice Caucasian woman and take home my new fashion statement that was expertly created in Taiwan. I choose not to to do it because, well.........I'm not a scarf kind of guy.

Still, I should be able to wear what I like and not be accused of treason. What's next? Homeland Security can knock down my door if I choose to make some kebabs? Should I be locked up and executed because I have the guts to say that Ilham Al Madfai is pretty cool?

Of course not, and neither should anyone else. Having an appreciation for someone else's culture and loving your own are two different things, and should be regarded as such. And there's no reason at all that a person, even a famous one, shouldn't be able to wear something like this without having their loyalties called into question. If there's any atrocity here, it's that these ridiculous fear tactics actually managed to get the commercial pulled.

Wait, scratch that. The real atrocity here is that Ray, a woman who has based her success on the value of home cooking, is still out there promoting a fast food joint.