While Listening To The Radio...

Seeing as the mp3 player was down again, I was again trudging through the wasteland that is the radio. During times like this, I usually set the dial to 90.9, so I can listen to the good people at KRCL, known to me as the "only radio I can stand." But for whatever reason, the station was down that day. No audio, no static, nothing. Now I'm in trouble. My one bastion for higher quality music is gone, and now I'm left out in the open all exposed and such. I reach for me SEEK button and hope for the best.

The first three hits start off well. Decent music, not too generic, it's almost passable. But, before I can get to comfortable with the music, the song playing breaks into a chorus where a choir starts singing sentences involving either Jesus or Christ. Clearly this won't end well, so I move on. The fourth hit turns out to be a an urban station, playing the best hip-hop and R&B. The kind of stuff I love to hate. Normally, I'd switch it as quick as I could, but I'm driving down the interstate at high speeds right now, and kind of need all my faculties. No choice but to listen, and hopefully stay sane enough to not start plowing minivans over the tops of the off ramps.

For the most part, this stuff is stale enough for me to ignore. I can almost pretend like I'm not listening to it, but then a song catches my attention. And suddenly, the dark cryptic voice of the MC starts to say words that hit me.

Not "hit me" as in enlighten me, or make me ponder the world a little deeper. No, it was more "hit me" as in, making my face scrunch up and say out loud "What kind of fucked up shit is this?" Popular rap and rappers are already something I have very little respect for, but this...well this was enough to make me sick.

So, I did a little investigating, and found out that these ridiculous lyrics were created by an artist called The Game, and that they were utilized on his song entitled, "My Life." And I'm gonna share some of these universally acknowledged brain-power lyrics for you all to enjoy.

They askin why, why did John Lennon leave The Beatles?
And why every hood n**** feed off evil?
Answer my question 'fore this bullet leave this Desert Eagle

Okay, so maybe the second line is a bit out of my expertise, but the first line? Seems to me the answer would be "Yoko." But I'm more curious about who's asking. Who's this "they" that's being referred to? Are there really a big conglomerate of individuals that this The Game knows who are troubled over the breakup of the Beatles? And if there are, why hasn't anyone pointed them to Wikipedia?

And what's with the threat? Why the point of answering your damn question if you're still going to shoot at me anyways? If you start squeezing off shots, rest assured the last damn thing I'm going to want to do is help you figure shit out. Put away the hand cannon, and maybe we'll talk, but until then, you're on your own buddy.

Moving on....

My life used to be empty like a glock without a round
Now my life full, like a chopper with a thousand rounds

Like a glock without a round? Are you fucking serious? You're comparing a difficult life full of trials to an unloaded firearm? Do you know what the rest of the world calls a weapon without ammunition? Safe! They call it fucking safe! It means that this particular weapon isn't going to kill someone needlessly, accidently, or otherwise. That's a damned wonderful thing for everyone, except maybe an overpaid, testosterone loaded rapper who can't even think of a word to rhyme with "round."

We are not the same, I am a Martian

No, no you are not. Martians are smart. Martians have mastered space travel, Martians can live in an oxygen-limited environment. Martians apparently don't need water either. You're dumb like the rest of us buddy. Deal with it.

Dear god, it's almost enough to make me crazy. I'm not going to fondly pontificate on the days when hip hop MC's used to have important shit to say, since everyone else already does it. But goddamn, just reading this shit makes you long for the days when all the MC's used to just make up words. I could almost go for some rappers who mumble perfectly good language into words like "thur" right about now.