Shirts, Shorts, And Social Standing

It's embarrassing enough to go wandering about town in a tight T-shirt that you haven't worn in four years. People more often than not assume that you're in need of clean laundry. Things get harder however, when you couple that T-shirt with a too-snug pair of slacker-approved shorts. However, if you're quick and walk with a confident strut, people might just figure you're having an off day, cleaning out the closet, or if you're lucky, you can get a bit more mileage out of the whole laundry thing.

However, when you've commited all of the above offenses, and also have orange Cheetos stains on the legs of those shorts, you can pretty much pack it in Bubba. You are fucked, completely and totally. And for the duration of your day, it will not matter how intelligent you are, or how well you carry yourself, you are dead weight as far as the world is concerned.

My advice? Roll with it. Embrace being low on the totem pole. Humility builds character, I think I read that somewhere. Shoot, you might even get to roll the pity card. Many happy marriages have been started that way. Might turn out to be the best day of your life.