A Boogie Take on Susan Boyle

I am a snarky, cynical bastard.

Anyone who reads this blog with any kind of regularity would probably agree with that statement. And I've made no secret of hiding it from anyone. Being a bitch is a big part of my personality, and frankly, I think is what makes me entertaining. Seriously, would anyone out there read this thing if I was pleasant all the time? If I had nothing but wonderful things to say about that dreamy and uber-talented Shia Lebeouf? Or how about singing the praises of the innocent musical genius Milely Cyrus? Shit no, If you wanted that sort of dribble, you'd be watching Nickelodeon right now. I'm here to satisfy the yearnings of those who like their reading material to be blunt and pissy.

And I'm sure now one out there can argue that I am no more blunt and pissy, than when it comes to music. Despite being someone who doesn't take his own personal musical work too seriously, I still judge the collective body of our musical history with an iron fist. I am a musical elitist, and hold high expectations on what ever bit of song and tuneage filters into the masses. And I don't tolerate dreck.

But I don't think I ask for much. I don't audibly feast on classically trained artists or those who possess fleet fingers or extended singing ranges. All I really ask for is a bit of emotional conviction. Those die hard souls who say "I'm gonna make the music that makes me happy and not compromise a thing." That's the stuff that really gets me going. And I don't care if it's Dream Theater or The Ramones, if it's done with heart, I'm listening. I freely admit that I have Lionel Richie and Mandy Moore albums in my collection. Laugh all you want, I think the tunes are great. They definitely got a hell of a lot more emotion than half the people who are successful today.

And perhaps, that's what makes me a cynic. By large, the biggest amount of musical artistry that is available in widespread rotation, is total crap. It's all auto tuned jailbait singing in Cover Girl ads. And what hasn't been pre-programmed by the industry is making it's name off of doing glossy karaoke on primetime programming. Reality TV has proven that there are a great many people who can sing competently, and that none of them can do anything better than rehash the hits of the Carpenters. I suppose not a bad thing if you like extensive vocal calisthenics done over 30-second snippets of classic tunes. Personally, I don't. And thus perpetuates the constant infuriating agony that is the mainstream music scene.

So when I hear a name like Susan Boyle springing up everywhere, I get real ornery. Every news feed and blog I hit, they're talking about it. "Oh yeah here's this woman in Britain. She's like 47, but she went on some reality show, and boy she can sing!" Yeah, I've heard it all before. There's at least two American Idols every season who are constantly being praised with similar skill. And frankly, most of them only keep my interest for about 30 seconds before I realize they sound like everyone else. I'm fully aware, much like you my fine readers, that words like "talent" and "soul" are just buzz words to draw the eye to articles. I pay them very little mind, and spent the last couple days ignoring it. I was completely convinced that while Susan Boyle probably could sing, it would be just another person wailing on incessantly with a bunch of unnecessary notes and scales, and ending a very emotional song with a long warbling vibrato that completely overshadowed the orchestration. It's how it's always been, and I knew things wouldn't be any different. So, why bother wasting my precious time with something I know will be more of the same? But, after seeing article after article, I got fed up and decided to finally hit Youtube and see what the fuss was all about.

And I'm happy to say, Susan Boyle proved me completely wrong.

If you haven't heard this snippet yet (and I'm not gonna post a link up here, since it seems like every media site out there is talking about it,) I wholeheartedly recommend that you do. Yeah, it's "I Dream A Dream" from Les Miserables, not some original composition. And yeah what she's doing can definitely be defined as karaoke. But, it's irrelevant, trust me. At the end of it, you'll probably agree with me, and the rest of the world that this scary looking woman with the bushy eyebrows can not only sing and sing well, but she can put her heart into it.

She balanced well with the orchestration, she stuck to heart of the melody without adding any ridiculous scales to it, and the one moment where she does show her range, it fits perfectly with the composition. No flash, no technical proficency, just pure honesty. Her rendition of that piece was stirring, and I don't meant that in a backhanded way, or some pretentious way either. I mean it in the sincerest way a guy who got his mind blown can mean it. It was truly something magical.

This cynic's eyes are definitely open a little bit wider. I was impressed, and it wasn't some unshaven band playing heartbreak songs in a candlelit mountain cabin, nor some downtuned distorted symphony of droning. Just a scruffy woman in her golden years singing Schonberg. Sometimes a little raw musical greatness comes from the most unlikely of places. And it may mean stepping out of comfort zones and predefined notions to find that out. But Ms. Boyle has proved that the trip is definitely worth it. And while I defintely won't be tuning into American Idol more often, it was nice to see something good get through the cracks for once.

Susan Boyle, I salute you.