Satraini vs. Coldplay

Tonight, I've had to defend the enemy.

While sitting in the re-beautified Mello-Drama studios, I was informed via the interweb about a recent controversy between Joe Satriani and the band Coldplay. Apparently, Joe feels that the ridiculously popular Coldplay song, "Viva La Vida" from the album of the same name, is strikingly similar to his 2004 track "If I Could Fly." After numerous attempts to get in contact with the members of Coldplay, with no success, Mr. Satriani has filed a copyright infringement suit against the band.

Sadly, I had been out of the loop lately, and was just barely made aware of this controversy. So, I read up on the facts, gave both pieces of music a few hard, repeated listens, and thought a great deal about this grievous matter.

Bear in mind, I am no fan of Coldplay. From the day they set foot on my music television, I have dispised the band. The whiny, generic song progressions sung in the flimsiest voice imaginable just drives me up the wall. Chris Martin has made a trademark sound out of weak, squeaky singing. A type of vocalization that is remarkably similar to a drunk person trying to sound passionate while taking a piss in a back alley. Admit it, if the man went accapella, you'd be handing him spare change and the address to the nearest homeless shelter. This is crap music, done crapfully. And the only reason I am convinced that it has had any success whatsoever, is because it is boring enough to not be offensive when played in elevators.

And also bear in mind that as a burgeoning young guitarist, Joe Satriani was someone I looked up to. I owned a couple of the man's albums and considered him an integral part of my training . I had no aspirations to play like Joe, but I respected the man's abilities and learned what I could from him. And while he is no longer an artist I turn to for inspiration, he is a dedicated disciple of six strings, and has earned my respect.

So knowing this information, you can see where my bias lies. And you can probably imagine how hard it is for me to look at the facts, hear both pieces of music, and have to grudgingly admit that..........I have to give it to Coldplay on this one.

Yeah yeah yeah, I'm a traitor. A Benedict Arnold, a smelly stinky pants, call it what you will. I still have to hold on to what little integrity I have left people. And I don't think Coldplay is in the wrong on this one. Sorry Satriani worshipers, musicians worldwide, and dedicated readers of this blog, I just don't see any way around it.

And believe me, I tried. I fought desperately while listening to both songs, trying to find a way where Chris Martin and his boys could have pulled some backhanded shit. I wanted them to be wrong, I swear I did. I was even preparing a warcry to rally all you reader and Satriani devout to arms. I hadn't finished it, but it went something along the lines of:

Coldplay has stolen our radios! They've stolen our music television! They've even stolen the few minutes of peace we find in the public restrooms of malls and shopping centers! But never, never could I have imagined, that they would steal legitamate art. The work of a soilder, a man of great dedication. They have lifted his body of work, and ruined it for us. Taken impassioned notes played across a fretboard, and reduced it to dribble! Well no more! We will rise against Coldplay, charge against them with the speed of sound. We will break down their doors in a righteous mob, violating each of the band members with Ibanez guitars until things do indeed turn Yellow! Who is with me?!!!

Alas, it was not to be. Fact of the matter is, while both tunes have some similar qualities to them, I can't in good conscious say that Coldplay plucked this song from the bosom of Satriani's soul, and threw it upon an unsuspecting world.

Before we break out the tar and feathers, let me drop a little musician's perspective on the matter. I will admit, the chord progressions are similar. Not exact, but similar. If you want to get technical, Joe's up a whole step and a half at E, while Coldplay is digging around D flat. And on the second chord of the chorus, when Joe stretches up a 5th, Coldplay moves up a step to E flat. Different, if you care about musician math.....which most of the population regrettably doesn't. For the average ear unconcerned about nuance, they sound damned close. Almost uncomfortably close. Especially when you get into that main melody. Coldplay fucking beats the chord progression into the ground while Satch uses it for a chorus. In fact, Satch only uses it for about 10 seconds out of the whole song. But, whatever right? They both do something damned similar in a progression that's equally similar, shit should rightfully hit the fan.

Bear in mind that musicians are a group of creative individuals who have a very limited palette to work with. Music only has twelve keys. Twelve people! The rest are just octaves. This means that no matter how many chords you use in a song, once you've reached twelve, that's it. There will be no more. And considering how long we've had composed music around, you can imagine that we're pushing the limits of versatility with those twelve keys. There are very few things out there that haven't been done before. And unless you're a musician heavy into jazz or one of those morbid looking indie musicians, you're really not looking for new ways to make chords sound different. Let's face it, most of the old tricks still sound pretty damn good. And though Ozzy's used the same progressions in several different songs with several different hairstyles, and Nickelback seems to have made a career out of using the same stuff over and over again, we're all pretty accepting of it (probably a little too much so in the instance of Nickelback if you ask me.) So, I'm not too surprised when two different musicians occupying two different genres happen to make some shit that sounds similar.

And if I recommend we lock up Coldplay, well I'm going to have to go right into the cell with them. Because the sad fact is that in all my compositions over thirteen years of writing goofy tunes, I have used ideas that I know I have heard somewhere else. Yep, ol' Boogie's dabbled in someone else's pot. Sometimes, a single tune of mine will have ideas from three or four other artists in it. And I have finished a body of work and submitted it for copyright as my own. Frankly, some days I'm amazed I didn't have my stuff rejected and have people laughing in my face for even trying. A lot of the stuff I borrowed is subtle, but some of that shit was downright blatant.

So I've done it, and I know a lot of other artists have done it too. On a day to day basis, we can all hear songs that we know are in some bastard form, related to the songs of others. Be it a drum beat here, or a vocal medley there, it's all connected. And that's kind of what makes music what it is, isn't it? I know that, at least for myself, I wasn't doing it to try and purposely tarnish someone else's musical vision. It's just that they did something that sounded pretty good, and it was something I needed to use to make my vision sound complete. There's not much ground to tread that hasn't been dug in before, I know it and make the best with what I have available. And my instinct tells me that Coldplay, while generic, misery-inducing, and having a body of work that is the peak of annoyance, did not purposely swipe something from the great Joe Satriani.

But don't think this gets you off the hook Coldplay. You're on thin ice here, and at it won't take much more to get me lubing up guitar necks and contemplating some real sick shit. I'll be watching.