December 11, 2008

Burger King Feeds The World

Burger King has launched a multi-million dollar ad campaign that has brought their signature burger, The Whopper, into the hands of people who have never had the opportunity to try one. The company is traveling to all corners of the world, stopping in foreign lands and third world nations, bringing the sandwich to "Whopper Virgins" to perform a taste test between the Whopper and McDonald's Big Mac, in an effort to prove that the Whopper is a superior burger.

Let me see if I have the mentality right here. You're going to go to foreign lands, where people who don't make a lot of money and basically survive on subsistence and agriculture, and feed them Whoppers? People who pretty much live off of things like rice, potatoes, and other starches, you're going to stick a ridiculously fatty, over processed and preserved piece of once-meat in their hands? And all because you want to prove to someone that your burger tastes a little better?

How fucking ridiculous can you get?

You do realize, that despite working hard in farm fields and hunting/gathering, these people are probably ten times healthier than us right? Every day of their lives, they spend eating natural ingredients that haven't been dipped in high quantities of burning peanut oil, then stuck in a freezer for two years. Food that is joyfully lacking in bad chemistry. And while they may not have a lot of eats to go around, clearly they've managed to make it work for them. So what does BK do? Well it hands them a sandwich that is notoriously deadly on arteries and heart functions, and says, "Here, chow down!" There's a reason people in these parts of the world don't look like overstuffed cows in tight jeans, like they tend to do in these parts. They've got a good thing going for them, don't mess with it.

And, if you are going to get involved and meddle in these people's lives, why don't you.....gee, I don't know......GIVE THEM SOME REAL FUCKING FOOD DAMNIT! You do realize that the millions you spent to get a few commercials out of innocent people, could have probably been made into a nice healthy donation to charities? People who actually want to feed these people healthy shit? Hell, you could even get in on the act yourself. Leave the Whoppers at home, and buy a few bags of rice for these folks. Hell, just hand them some local currency so they could go to their local market and let them buy some fish or swine for a change. Goddamn, that seems like a way better idea than handing them a fucking Whopper, making them smile in front of a camera, and then leaving them with two days worth of diarrhea because you made them eat some shit their body wasn't used to. Have some common sense BK!

I'm at a complete and total loss here people.

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