Britney Spears: If U Seek Amy

Britney Spears has just made headlines being as a sexy housewife.

Not for real of course, but definitely in music video form, as the video for "If U Seek Amy" was uploaded today on Britney's website (which I am not linking to because I have standards damnit!)

To summarize, Britney spends half of the video looking like a sleazy drug addled fiend, and then spends the other half looking like June Cleaver. The purpose of course being, to express through dance and skin how difficult it is to cope with the high expectations placed upon her by the media. Sounds deep you say? Well she also wrote the words, "Ha ha hee hee ha ha ho" as a verse of lyrics in the song, so do keep things in perspective.

Have people already forgotten that this snowballing pack of depressing and misguided uber-flesh is actually a mother? And according to the judgment of our modern legal system, a piss poor one at that? Of course the paparazzi is going to be interested in you if you don't show up to your court dates! Why not just hold up a liquor store with lit sparklers sticking out of your ass while you're at it.

So the idea of her portraying herself as the victimized housewife irks me, because nothing is further from the truth. She sucked as a mom, and I'm willing to believe she still does. And I don't think my standards are to high to expect things like car seats for the baby and a little sobriety.

Hell, even the video still kind of portrays her as unfit to procreate. When she's in front of the camera, she does the whole apple pie and sharp looking husband routine, but in the house? Apparently, it's multiple partners wearing scantily clad clothing, and either suffering from drug addiction or seizures. And what of the children? One of them appears to be wearing the exact same outfit and appearance as Britney in her first video "Hit Me Baby One More Time." Because nothing says good parenting like dressing them up to look like jailbait.

And perhaps, I'm not looking deep enough into this. Perhaps I'm just having a bad day and letting loose my venom on Britney without thinking this through. Maybe the video is satire? Maybe the whole thing is tounge-in-cheek, a big gag that I haven't taken the time to think through.

Fair enough, but it seems to me that making a gag about being an unfit mother, while being an unfit mother, just doesn't ring of much comedy. I mean, if you want to defend yourself, wouldn't it be easier to do one of those sappy music videos with slow music and pictures of you huging your children lovingly and making them laugh? Artists do that shit all the time, in fact I'm pretty sure it's a video like that which managed to keep Kid Rock being a viable artist in the modern age. So why not do something like that? Oh sure, I'd roll my eyes the whole time I was watching it, but at least it would inspire some kind of hope. I'd at least go to bed tonight not worrying that in 30 years time, I'd be hearing about the new Britney Spears video, portraying her as a sexy geriatric in a rest home filled with sluts.

And I'm sure, you would sleep better too.