A Different Breed Of Cook.

I had a revelation of sorts today. For one brief second, in my typical meanderings around the interweb, I had the famed moment of clarity. In that moment, browsing from blog to blog, I realized that I would probably never be a line cook.

Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not abandoning my recent leap into cooking, because I still very much enjoy the work and the fruits of my labor. And I'm certainly going to continue my efforts to get into culinary school here in the next few months, despite what many a pro may think of it. It is something I still crave higher knowledge of, and am fully committed to getting. It's just that while reading the great many blogs written by talented (and equally entertaining) professional cooks from around the country, I realize that I just don't fit into that clique.

Strange as it may seem to you, it's definitely something I wanted to be apart of. Many of the things I have done in my life were to attain some degree of community with the people in that field. I crave "talking shop," with like-minded individuals, and have tried over the years to develop enough of a wealth of knowledge to speak well of the topic. Lately, this craving has included the world of professional kitchens. I've been jumping up and down like an anxious child, trying to gain some acceptance in the realm, but I've never actually been apart of it, so how can I truly fit in? I can't, and the harsh reality is, I probably never will.

At my advanced age, standing the line is certainly not something I'll be able to do long-term. And yeah, I know 30 is still pretty damn young in all aspects of the world. But, when it comes to cooking, hitting that age is pretty much the equivalent of applying to the AARP. That shit takes stamina baby, being on the feet for hours at a time. And while I've done some fairly incredible feats of stamina in my day (at least, I considered them impressive,) there is still that lingering doubt that says I can do it that consistently.

What's worse is that it's hard to get the opportunity to find out. You'd figure that getting to work in a kitchen would be one of the easiest things to do. You may not be able to handle advanced mathmatical computations or sit in a cubicle processing numbers all day, but surely someone will let you flip fries right? Well, apparently not so much. Not when you've spent a good third of your life in other pursuits. And having a degree, several certifications, and years of experience in other fields, doesn't speak well for me.

And I'm not blaming the kitchens of the world, they're operating under sound logic. Why take in someone who's older, burned a lot of calories in other endeavors, and can probably get a job as a bank manager when you can hire some young kid fresh out of high school who's loaded with stamina, and will do exactly what you tell them without question? Especially considering the old guy spent many years of his life trying to be a rock star. That can't bode well for me either. But, assuming that they've never heard of my musical endeavors (which, is pretty darn likely,) the sad reality is that I'm too smart for my own good.

Scratch that........I appear too smart for my own good on paper. Face to face, I'm still the charming idiot you've come to know and love.

In some ways, it's sad, because I truly wanted to be apart of the war stories that collective tend to share. But, on the other hand, it's pretty liberating. I don't have to fear my fuck ups, and my body's weaknesses so much. I can go to culinary school excited to just learn stuff.....which is probably what I should have been doing in the first place.

So, you may be asking, "If you're probably not going to be a line cook, what the hell are you going to cooking school for?" That's easy: because I like it, and because I want to know more. And it's not like having more skill is a bad thing either. Perhaps I'll look more appealing to a restaurant once I got the degree. And perhaps, I'll actually find myself being a line cook a few years down the road, and enjoying the hell out of it. But if it doesn't happen, no big deal. There's tons of other stuff I can do.

Like, maybe write a food blog?